Why You Suck At Fantasy Football

man frustrated at fantasy football

There are definitely some sure-fire signs that you suck at fantasy football…and you may not even know it.

Fantasy football is a blast. Until it’s not.

Let’s face it. Sucking at fantasy football is one of the worst feelings. Not only does it downgrade your ability to talk smack to your friends during the season, but it also severely poses a threat to your overall ego. No one likes losing.

But how does one go about sucking in fantasy? While many think the game is pure luck, they fail to identify factors that cause them to lose consistently. And yes, there are blatant signs.

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Here are a few that indicate how bad you really are.

You commonly use the phrase “It just wasn’t my year”.

Does fantasy football require luck? Absolutely. There’s no doubt that you can draft a player with no intentions of having a breakout year, yet they are an absolute stud. But the fact that you completely blame the status of your horrid season on luck is hogwash.


Fantasy football is all about effort, so the fact that you blame it on being unlucky is not going to fly. Especially with your league-mates.

And if you’ve heard yourself proclaim “It just wasn’t my year” for more than one year, it’s obvious. You suck.

You update your lineup a few hours before game time.

Let’s clarify. Logging in to update your lineup because of a last minute scratch is perfectly acceptable. But if you login to update your roster for the first time in a week right before kickoff, you’ve got a problem.

Fantasy football is a commitment. Of course it’s fun, but it’s also taken very seriously between friends, coworkers, and league mates who you may have no idea what they look like in real life.

In order for you not to suck, you need to put in the time. Whether it’s looking deeper into a potential waiver wire pickup or conjuring up a juicy trade to some schmuck, you need to step up your game in order to succeed.

There’s nothing like logging in right before kickoff to realize your star player is injured, and you don’t have any adequate bench players to replace him. That’s when you feel like this:

knoshown moreno crying

You ignore all trade requests.

Guess what? Trading is a crucial part of winning. Don’t think so? You probably haven’t won much then.

Trading players to improve your team is pivotal, so the fact that you don’t even entertain the idea of a trade request is quite baffling to the fantasy gods.

You know what’s even worse? Declining a trade without countering. And listening to Nickleback.

But seriously, why wouldn’t you counter? Even if it’s a completely assign retort, put the ball in their court.

You don’t believe in preparing for a draft.

Would you pitch a presentation to your boss without research? (If you said yes, then you have bigger problems.)

Researching what players to potentially select is a necessity for success. Whether you go in-depth and research an individual player’s potential or have a general blueprint of what position you draft round by round, not having a plan is setting yourself up for one giant suckfest of a season.

You’re way too cocky.

You may have had some previous fantasy football success, hell, you may have even had a decent run at making the playoffs. A display of cockiness will surely lead to eventual suckage though.

With an over-inflated fantasy football ego, you tend to overlook potential waiver pickups or trade opportunities. And that can hurt you in the long-run.

Remember, if you have a lineup of studs throughout the season, odds are when playoffs come around their playing time may be limited depending on the success of the team, thus, affecting your playoff performance. So keep humble.

If you ain’t first, you’re last!

The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem (trust us on this). In this case, the obvious problem is you suck at fantasy football.

While there may be other signs or influences that assist in your lack of success, it’s imperative that you watch out for these signs and make an effort to fix them, immediately.

Unless you enjoy the pain.